[Un]reasonably outraged by the “busy” excuse
The Busy Excuse: we’re all using it, but is it time to stop?
I don’t know a single person who isn’t busy.
Actually, I take that back—my 95-year-old grandmother living in an aged care facility could legitimately claim she’s not busy. Her days are quieter now, and I imagine she might long for the hustle and bustle of a packed schedule. But everyone else? Life is a constant juggle of work, family, and commitments. So why, in a world where everyone is busy, does the phrase “I’ve been busy” get tossed around as an excuse for not replying, showing up late, or dropping the ball on a promise?
We live in an overstimulated world where we’re always reachable, even during our most private moments. I understand—things slip through the cracks. Important messages can get buried under a flood of notifications, or a task can be forgotten in the chaos. It happens, and most of us can own up to it with a simple apology. What frustrates me is when people consistently fall back on the “busy” excuse.
We’re all busy.
It’s not unique or special. Whether it’s managing a demanding job, raising kids, caring for elderly parents, or just trying to carve out a moment for yourself, everyone is juggling something. Yet, some seem to believe their busy is somehow more valid than others’.
As Australian social researcher Hugh Mackay puts it, “Busy people are not always productive people; they’re simply busy.” Perhaps the frustration stems from the overuse of this term—it's become a catch-all that avoids responsibility and shifts blame.
When someone claims they’re too busy to reply or follow through, I like to think it fits into one of two categories:
Avoiding Responsibility: Using “busy” as an excuse often feels like sidestepping accountability. Instead of admitting they forgot or didn’t prioritize, it becomes a lazy way to deflect guilt. Dr. Tim Sharp, aka Dr. Happy, a positive psychology expert from The Happiness Institute in Australia, says, “Busyness has become a badge of honour in our culture, but it’s often an illusion we hide behind to avoid the things that matter most—such as relationships and self-care.”
I’m Busier Than You: When someone claims they’re too busy to reply to messages or fulfill a commitment, it can imply that their time is more valuable than yours. This subtle hierarchy suggests their obligations are somehow more pressing than what you’ve got going on. As Debbie Millman, writer and podcast host, wisely said, “Busy is a decision. We do the things we want to do, period. If we say we are too busy, it’s just shorthand for ‘not important enough’ or ‘not a priority.’”
It’s not about occasional slip-ups or emergencies—we’ve all been there. It’s the repeat offenders who wear thin. You start to wonder if nurturing relationships and honoring commitments are less important to them.
Beyond Blue has conducted research on the impact of constant busyness, particularly on mental health. They found that chronic busyness can lead to burnout and erode our relationships, noting that when we’re overloaded, “we sacrifice the small, meaningful connections that sustain us.”
So, what’s the solution?
Accountability. A simple, honest “I’m sorry, I dropped the ball” goes a long way. It’s human and shows respect. If we stop hiding behind the busy excuse, we might become more mindful of where our time goes and who we give it to.
At the end of the day, busyness is inevitable in today’s world. But how we manage it—and how we respect other people’s time—is entirely up to us.
How do you juggle all the balls? Join the conversation on Substack.
Kx
