The fifty epiphany
Yes that t-shirt does say what you think it says
I turned fifty this week. No wild anticipation, no deep dread.
I resisted the idea of a party because the logistics felt like too much effort. But how often do we gather the people we love in a room just to say thanks? Weddings and funerals, mostly. Marking the moments in between matters, even if it’s just a cocktail with a friend or a birthday book swap.
Hubby and I had a combined 50th—it was a lot of fun, but I’m glad it’s done! Covid lockdowns eviscerated my social stamina, and five years on, I’m still running on low. My hosting days might be behind me, but I still want to celebrate, just in smaller, more manageable ways. So, throughout the year, I’m sprinkling in little moments: a comedy show, a family holiday, a high tea, a trip away.
Unfortunately, we know too many who haven’t made it to this milestone. So rather than lamenting it, I’m honouring it with wisdom from incredible women who have walked this path before me.
Seems fitting to start with my own:
Stop apologising for things that aren’t your fault.
Find a therapist and process all that trauma you’ve carried in your bones for years.
Spend time outside. In the bush, in the garden, on a deck in the sun.
Put effort into the relationships that matter—the ones where the care flows both ways.
Looking back, I see each decade as its own phase. My 20s were for self-discovery, my 30s for building a family, my 40s for reassessing career and life. Now, my 50s are about sending my children into the world as compassionate, capable humans while I finally spread my own wings.
The wisdom I received from other women seemed to fit into the following categories.
Time is Precious—Spend It Wisely
Refocusing and reprioritising what I really want to do in coming years while still fit and healthy. — Lynelle
Dancing and singing loudly on my own when the house is empty. — Mel
Don’t let anyone tell you it’s too late. — Chrissie
How you start is how you finish. — Sarah
It’s better to be late in this world than early in the next. — Kathryn
I am no longer rushing through today to get to tomorrow. I am soaking it all in—this life, this experience, the things there are to learn and love. — Beck
Letting things be and trying to find the more peaceful path in the world. Not being passive, but just trying to be smarter about what I put my energy into. — Yasmin
Be really careful with your time and use most of it to do something just for you. Write a book. Make a podcast. Travel. Do a PhD. This is YOUR time so guard it like a warrior. — Vikki
Confidence, Acceptance & Owning Who We Are
Waiting for personal acceptance to embrace my head of grey hair. — Lynelle
People cannot cope with grey hair on women. (Sounds like a them problem.) — Fiona
I’ll spend my money however the fuck I want. — Mel
You have no idea what is happening in other people’s lives. — Vikki
I have enough experience and knowledge that I can trust myself and stop second-guessing my decisions. — Fiona
I am not afraid to acknowledge when I don't know something. There are so many things I still don't know. — Beck
Credit: Sweet Sticks
Goodbye, People-Pleasing—Hello, Boundaries
I try to give zero fucks now! — Jac
I’m too old for crap! — Helen
I don’t have time for BS nor patience for egotists. I am rehabilitating from people pleasing! — Mel
No message is a message. — Vanessa
I am getting better at asking for what I actually want. And making sure I have what I feel I need. — Beck
Menopause: The Real Deal
That the peri-menopause community is a real thing, and for that I am grateful. — Fiona
Listen to your instinct—not only, but especially when it comes to menopause. Get the treatment right and pause no longer! — Pip
I’m leaving the final words to my friend, Kelly.
“Life has twists and turns but it’s always changing and that means even the worst things imaginable that could happen to you, will end. Even if the life you live after that is different. Sometimes we just have to keep breathing and focus on the next minute. Sometimes the world is a smorgasbord of delight in front of us. Both realities are part and parcel of being human. And we are constantly evolving, so it’s okay to have broken bits.”
What wisdom can you add?
Kylie
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